McBlah.com - Geeks who love Books

Last Updated Wednesday, May 05, 2004

The Rant of the Retired Government Worker

"And then the Pilot said..."

By AV8

McBlah Contributor

Stories about radio conversations between pilots and air traffic controllers are legion in the aviation industry. In my 30+ years in the business I have collected a few of my own, and these seem to pop into my mind late at night when I am trying to sleep. One memory follows another, and soon I am lying awake staring at the ceiling.

The FAA had a contract weather station at Dutch Harbor, Alaska. One of the observers there was a man we will call “George” for the telling of this tale. That was not his real name, but it will work. As the narrator used to say in the old radio and TV series “Dragnet,” the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Or the guilty, as the case may be.

Anyway, George was a character. Friendly, full of tall tales, banter and humor, easy going, and most often dressed in the typical Alaska “bush” costume of plaid flannel shirt, denim pants, and clod hopper boots. George almost always had something to say about any situation that was at hand, but sometimes his words were not well chosen.

One time, during one of the long, long Aleutian winters, a Reeve Aleutian Airways Lockheed Electra was coming in from Anchorage. There was patchy ice on the runway, and when the plane touched down, it swerved and started sliding down the runway somewhat sideways. The runway at Dutch Harbor is carved out of the side of a mountain, and is considerably shorter than most runways used by airliners. The pilot of the plane added power to increase the air flow over the tail and get the plane straightened out, which worked well, and did get the plane straight, but the added power added speed, and very quickly there was not room enough left on the runway for the plane to stop. The pilot added full takeoff power, lifted the plane back into the air, circled around and made a second landing. This time the plane did not swerve, all went well, and the plane soon taxied up to the terminal building, shut down, and unloading operations began.

The pilot of the plane went in the terminal building, and went to the weather office to get his weather briefing for his return flight back to Anchorage.

George greeted him as he walked in the door: “Man, you sure looked wild and crazy sliding down that runway sideways!”

The pilot eyed him for a few seconds, before replying.

“You should have seen it from where I was sitting.”

Several years before that incident, there was a woman air traffic specialist working at a small airport in southeast Alaska, at a place called Yakutat. One day an itinerant pilot landed a small single engine plane, and requested taxi instructions to the gas pump. The woman gave him the instructions that he needed, but somehow there seemed to be a communications failure. None of the instructions seemed to make sense to him, and soon he was acting totally lost. This at an airport that had only two runways, almost no taxiways, one parking ramp, and one set of fuel pumps.

Finally the woman told him to stop his airplane, and he did.

“Now,” She said, “Turn your airplane ninety degrees to the right.”

He did.

“Now,” she said, “Right in front of you, you will see a very large building. Do you see the building?”

The pilot acknowledged that he did indeed see it.

“Good. That building is called a hangar. Now look at the upper left corner of the building, and you will see two large windows. Do you see those?”

He did.

“Good. Those are the windows of the Flight Service Station. Now look closely, and you will see a woman leaning out of one of the windows, waving her arm. Do you see her?”

He did.

“Good. That woman is me. Now watch me real closely, and taxi your airplane where I point.”

He made it to the gas pumps without further problems.

AV8

AV8 recently retired from a long career working for the Federal Aviation Administration.

He now spends his time writing aviation history books, Geocaching, playing with his grandchildren,

writing his famous Rants and enjoying the AARP-lifestyle with his wife and fellow McBlah.com family member, GMAK.

Please report Broken Links and other Web Problems to the Webmaster.

The statements, views and opinions in columns and reviews presented on this web page are those of their respective

authors and are not endorsed by, nor do they necessarily reflect, the opinions of ... well ... anyone else.

Submissions to www.mcblah.com are reviewed by the Webmaster and will be posted here upon his discretion.

All submissions, once accepted and posted, become sole property of www.mcblah.com

FastCounter by bCentral